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I recently read some of the stories on this website and felt compelled to tell you all my story. I am not a teenager. However, when I first had sex with my boyfriend I was. We had dated for two years or more and were very much in love, so we thought. I became pregnant at the end of my junior year in high school. I am Catholic, and an abortion was out of the question. |
Confronting my parents about this was terrifying, and I did not tell them until I had to go for my high school physical for sports. At this point I was three months pregnant. Basically, I missed most of my senior year in high school and my varsity basketball season as a senior. This was my passion, and it tore me apart not to be able to participate. I decided early on that I was too young to be a mother, and my boyfriend was wonderful about it. He supported whatever I wanted to do. His family wanted me to keep the baby. Mine…well, I think they kept wishing it was all a dream; but I know they did not want me to keep the child. I spent my last four months of pregnancy in a group home with other pregnant teens so that I could think straight and share experiences with other girls in my situation. Most of the girls, however, were keeping their babies. I went back and forth with this decision, but I really did not think it would be fair to this baby for me to become a mother before I had even grown up myself. In the end I did give my child up for adoption. I continued to date my boyfriend for about a year; but after I went to college, I knew I needed to end the relationship and explore other potential opportunities. This hurt this wonderful man deeply, but I still believe that it was best for both of us. Eventually he too went to college, which he hadn’t planned to do, and graduated. I also graduated, becoming an architect and eventually a partner in a firm. My boyfriend and I grew apart as we both realized we had different goals in life as we got older. I did become a mother when the time was right, and I can truly say that being a mother is the best thing in life…that is, when you are ready to be one! I know there are many young girls out there who do believe they are ready and may be in loving relationships right now. There are some situations where this will work out fine in the end; but remember, at the age of 17 you have experienced very little of the world. There is much to see and many people to meet along the way. As my 11-year-old daughter approaches her teenage years I will tell her my story. I will work to keep our communications open and be supportive of her relationships. She will know where to get birth control and protection from venereal diseases and AIDS. I will continue to recommend that she wait, but I am also realistic. At the age of 17 I felt I absolutely was in love. I also feel I made the right decision for me. In my heart of hearts my child was raised by loving adult parents who desperately wanted a child that they could not have on their own. My mistake ultimately became their gift. All I ask of you girls out there is to think of yourselves twenty years from now and where you would like to see yourselves. Your lives will be deeply affected by your decision to have a relationship in your teen years. Be smart and be protected! NEVER leave this decision up to someone else. This is YOUR life…remember to live it!
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